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Chapter 10. Aunty Rita


Aunty Rita

I was always spoilt rotten

Because my young childhood was never forgotten

I was bought expensive clothes and expensive underwear

I was bought designer perfume and got extensions in my hair

Mum used to buy me all sorts of nice things

From silver jewellery, to nine carat gold rings

Dad wasn’t at home very much, he was always at work

I didn’t know what he did; I think he was an office clerk

But it was OK as I had my Aunty Rita

She used to be married to my uncle peter

Aunty Rita was my mum’s twin sister

They stuck together like a plaster to a blister

If my mum was busy Aunty Rita would be there

She was very stylish and wore things with flair

She was as mad and as flambouent as they came

Her crazy antics drove me insane

Mum and Rita looked like two peas in a pod

But Aunty Rita behaved a little odd

Not in a deranged way, she was just a little aloof

Her weird ways and habits were enough proof

Her house was immaculate, clean and tidy

She would rearrange the furniture every Friday

She would make us take our shoes off at the front door

Hated the look of shoe prints on her highly polished floor

She would wash her hands twenty times a day

She said it helped keep the germs and bugs at bay

Aunty Rita was lovely but very queer

She didn’t like people to come to near

She dreaded the thought of catching the flu

Said people harboured more germs than a public loo

Rita said germs were every where

On people’s clothes, in people’s hair

On people’s hands, in people’s ears

Yes germs were Aunty Rita’s worst fears

I remember her coming to visit, she had a black eye

“I walked into a door” she had said with a sigh

We all knew my Uncle Peter was mean and tough

But one day Aunty Rita had suffered enough

Peter was having an affair, Rita caught him playing away

And started divorce proceedings the very next day

She had a party when the divorce came through

She was parting hard; she said “Why should I be blue?”

But Aunty Rita had a bad heart

And for this she had to keep a chart

I don’t know what the chart was for

But she couldn’t go above ten or more

She wasn’t allowed any stress

She wasn’t meant to be under duress

I loved my Aunty Rita almost as much as my mum

My Aunty Rita was the best, she was my best chum

I asked Aunty Rita about my biological mum

She pulled a face that looked so glum

She said that my mum was evil and mad

And that my dad was just as bad

She said mum was a big believer in the occult

And against the authorities she would often revolt

She said my real mum believed in Witch Craft

She said all that mumbo jumbo was just daft

Rita said I was better off without my real mum

And that my real mum and dad were nothing but scum

Aunty Rita was probably right

She was always clever and bright

So I put my real mum and dad to the back of my head

As far as I was concerned they may as well be dead

Chapter 11

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The Home Of The World’s Longest Poetic Novel, Written In Rhyming Couplets.


Welcome to The Jaw, the home of the World’s longest poetic novel written in rhyming couplets.  The Jaw  Revisited may well change the way you look at poetry forever.  Not just a piece of poetry, not just a novel, not just another book.  The Jaw is 101,573 words, 472,135 characters, 439 pages and 15,152 lines all written in  rhyming couplets.

 I believe this makes it the longest rhyming couplet novel, written in English and by a single person in the world.  Many people make this claim, just search in Google and you will encounter 100’s of claims to this feat.  All of these  claims are different to mine, in that The Jaw is not just a collection of rhyming couplets but an actual story.  Some are not written in the English langauge, and many have been written by several different people.  Twitter and Facebook both have claims that users have written the longest poem combining the efforts of 1000’s of users,  I wrote mine on my own.

I never set out to break any records, I write because I find it the best way to express my feelings and emotions.  I enjoy making up characters, giving them a personality and hopefully passing that personality onto the readers.  I love to explore the world of the unknown and what better way to do that than in words using an over active imagination.  My words are simple, yet very effective.  I will not compare Thee To A Summer’s Night, or have words that have the reader wondering what it’s all about.  I suppose in a way, I write how I speak.

When I was fifteen I left school with no formal qualifications, no PhD or University degree and not really having any career goals.  I have never had any form of English teaching and certainly think I would be terrible if I had to sit an exam or hand in coursework now 🙂  I know enough though, I know that if you push yourself and believe in what you are doing, believe in where you want to go and what you want to do, then you will be successful.  Success does not always come in the form of money or life’s extravagant luxuries, sometimes it is the simple things, like sitting back and saying “I did that.”

That is what I have done with The Jaw, I wanted to write something that I can be proud of, something that I can say to my children, grand children and even my parents, “Look, I did that”.  I am proud of my novel, I think the plot is fantastic, the twists and turns will have you on edge wondering what is going to happen next.  The words will flow from your mouth with ease and before long you will not even realise you are reading the words in rhyme.

Taken From Smashwords.com

Ebook Short Description

The Jaw is an epic horror story written in a totally unique way. I believe this is the longest ever novel in the English language that has been written in rhyme. At over 100,000 words and spanning more than 400 pages, this piece of literature has it all. Ultimately this horror story will take your breath away. With twists and stomach turning churns that will have you thirsting for more. 

A Review On Amazon.com

This review is from: The Jaw (Kindle Edition)

I`ve never read a novel that is in rhyme before and now i have i can`t believe just how clever it is. Apart from it having damn good story to it you marvel at how the author has managed to do poetry and the story as well. There`s so many twists and turns in it , things i never expected , which i`m not going into on here because it`ll ruin the story for anyone who buys it.
Its left me wanting more , and i`m hoping the author writes some more books.

On the top menu you can have a read for yourself as I have posted the first twelve chapters for you.

I hope you enjoy the site and have a wonderful day

Much love.  Katherine x

Chapter 5. The Children’s Home.


The Children’s Home

The home I was put in was dirty and cold

The building smelt of musk and was very old

The staff clothed me and fed me as little as they could

They didn’t look after me as they should

I always had dirt on my face

They left me to wander alone, all over the place

I was left alone to roam

In every room in the children’s home

The rooms were dull and very bare

They contained a few beds and just one chair

I shared a room with five other kids

The windows were secured with metal grids

The staff said it was to keep thieves at bay

But I think it was to stop us from running away

I hated that home, I felt like a prisoner of war

I hated it to my heart’s core

There were cobwebs all over the ceiling

The paper on the walls was dirty and peeling

The windows were cracked, they weren’t very safe

This was no place to keep a young waif

What would happen if I fell?

Would they be concerned? Would they hell!

The windows were dirty and grimy

The floors were wet, slippy and slimy

A cleaner would come around every day

Her job was to keep the dirt at bay

But she didn’t do a very good job

She was nothing but a lazy slob

She didn’t last long, she got sacked

The new cleaner wasn’t any better and that was a fact

No-one in the home seemed to care

If there was dirt and dust everywhere

There was a two inch layer of dust on the window sill

I’m surprised no-one fell ill

I hardly had any toys

I was always picked on by the boys

In fact most of the kids picked on me

Because I was small and so skinny

They always used to pull my hair

They were older than me but they didn’t care

The staff always used to turn a blind eye

I could never fathom out why

I always had nits and was covered in lice

The children’s home was infested with mice

Around my room the mice would creep

Scratching and squeaking as we all tried to sleep

I told the staff one night when I was eating my tea

That those horrible mice were scaring me

They looked upon with a face of disgust

Shook their heads, shouted and cussed

They told me to shut up and eat my tea

They never seemed to be bothered about me

All they were worried about was their pay

And going home at the end of the day

We poor children didn’t have a life

We were living on the edge of a knife

Chapter 6